This blog post is based on insights from Dr. Tanaya Narendra (Dr. Cuterus)‘s YouTube interview with Raj Shamani on the Raj Shamani Clips channel.
Have you ever wondered why India ranks so low in global sexual health indices despite being home to over a billion people? Or why fertility clinics are multiplying faster than ever while infertility rates continue climbing?
The answer isn’t complicated—it’s education. Or rather, the devastating lack of it.
In a powerful conversation with Dr. Tanaya Narendra (popularly known as Dr. Cuterus), Raj Shamani unpacks the dangerous reality of sexual misinformation in India. Dr. Narendra, an Oxford-trained sexual health expert, is on a mission to replace shame with science, one myth at a time. What follows is a wake-up call that might just save your health—or someone you love.
Why India’s Fertility Crisis Is Actually an Education Crisis
The Shocking Reality of “Trying” for Seven Years
Dr. Narendra shares a case that sounds unbelievable—but isn’t. A couple visited her parents’ fertility clinic after seven years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive. Every test came back normal. Finally, her father took the husband aside and asked: “What exactly are you doing?”
The truth? For seven years, this man had been penetrating his wife’s belly button—because “the stomach has a hole, and babies come from the stomach.”
“This isn’t a story from 50 years ago,” Dr. Narendra emphasizes. “This is 25 years ago. And the problem is—today, the situation regarding education is still the same.”
For Example: Imagine trying to assemble furniture without instructions, then blaming the furniture when it collapses. That’s essentially what’s happening when couples lack basic anatomical knowledge.
The Preventable Epidemic
Here’s what should stop you in your tracks: most infertility is preventable.
Dr. Narendra breaks down the actual causes:
- 40% male factors
- 40% female factors
- 20% unexplained or combined factors
Yet society continues to blame women exclusively, while men remain unaware of simple lifestyle changes that could revolutionize their fertility.
The Simple Fix Men Ignore (Because Nobody Told Them)
The 90-Day Sperm Factory Reset
Want to dramatically improve your fertility? Quit smoking. That’s it.
Here’s the science: Unlike women, who are born with all their eggs, men produce new sperm every three months. Dr. Narendra explains it perfectly: “Think of it like a factory delivery. Every three months, you get a new factory reset. If you quit smoking today, in three months, you’ll have completely fresh sperm that isn’t tainted by your previous cigarette smoking.”
The Modern Male Fertility Killers:
| Risk Factor | Why It Hurts | Simple Fix |
| Cigarette Smoking | Taints sperm quality | Quit today, see results in 90 days |
| Laptop on Lap | Overheats testicles (they need cool temps) | Use a desk or laptop stand |
| Gym Steroids | Shrinks testicular volume and function | Natural training, skip the juice |
| Stress & Substance Abuse | Hormonal disruption | Meditation, counseling, boundaries |
For Example: Your testicles are essentially self-regulating air conditioners. When cold, they snuggle closer to your body. When hot, they hang lower. Placing a laptop directly on your lap is like forcing that air conditioner to work overtime until it breaks.
The Orgasm Gap: Why Nobody’s Winning This Race
The Performance Pressure Cooker
Men face an extraordinary burden in bed. As Dr. Narendra notes: “There’s huge pressure on boys to maintain a good sex life. You’re not good in bed, your penis is small, you’re not performing well, you’re not lasting long enough—the kind of pressures men face from a mental health standpoint are just not paid enough attention.”
Women, meanwhile, often discuss sexual problems openly with friends—”Maybe we’re not having good sex,” “Maybe I’m not feeling it,” “Maybe I’m not getting turned on.” Men? Silence. Ego. Societal pressure.
The result? Two confused people running toward a “successful sex” finish line that neither understands.
The 80% Truth Nobody Talks About
Here’s the bombshell: Over 80% of women globally report they cannot orgasm from penetration alone.
Yet pornography—which serves as sex education for millions—shows orgasm happening through penetration. So what happens?
- Men feel inadequate when their partner doesn’t orgasm during intercourse
- Women think they’re broken because they don’t match pornographic expectations
- Everyone ignores the clitoris—the actual pleasure organ
For Example: Searching for a “G-spot” inside the vagina while ignoring the clitoris is like scratching your arm when your back itches. The clitoris—visible as a “pea-sized” bump above the vaginal opening but actually palm-sized internally—is the primary source of female orgasm for most women.
Redefining “Success” in Bed
Dr. Narendra proposes a radical reframe: “We need to restructure the importance of orgasm. We didn’t come here to fight a war. The end game of every sexual experience isn’t working toward the finish line of orgasm.”
Intimacy itself is beautiful. Pleasure itself is valid. When we release the orgasm obsession, performance anxiety dissolves—and ironically, pleasure often increases.
The Dangerous Products Preying on Your Insecurities
Dr. Narendra is crystal clear about products marketed through fear and shame:
Complete Scams to Avoid:
- Vaginal/Penis/Ball Washes
- Why: The vagina is self-cleaning. External washing with plain water is sufficient. Washes cause over-cleaning, infections, and disrupt natural pH.
- The marketing lie: “Pina colada scent” or “mountain breeze freshness”—as Dr. Narendra scoffs, “Your vagina isn’t supposed to smell like mountain breeze!”
- Genital Lightening/Brightening Creams
- Why: They don’t work and contain bleaching agents that can cause immune reactions, making skin darker (the opposite of promised results).
- Narendra’s warning: “Not only do they not work, but they have bleaching agents. If you have an immune reaction, your darkening will increase.”
- Penis Lengthening Creams/Pills/Lotions
- The truth: Penis length cannot be increased through topical products. Surgery exists but risks changing direction/functionality for minimal gain.
- Reality check: Average global erect penis size is 1 to 5.5 inches—not the 7+ inches porn suggests.
- Breast Firming Creams
- Science: Gravity affects all tissue with weight. No cream defeats gravity.
- “Edible Underwear” & Gimmicks
- Risk: High sugar content can cause yeast infections. As Dr. Narendra notes: “I’ll yuck anybody’s yum—just be careful.”
For Example: One brand selling genital lightening cream actually sued Dr. Narendra for defamation when she exposed their scam. She fought the case for a year and won. This is how aggressively these companies protect their exploitation.
Contraception Confusion: What Actually Works
The Condom Reality Check
Myth: “If you have one partner, you don’t need condoms.”
Reality: This is like saying “I only go to the milk shop, so I don’t need a mask during COVID.” Exposure is exposure. STIs can transmit through:
- Sexual touch alone (HPV spreads through skin contact)
- Oral sex (can cause throat/mouth cancer—Michael Douglas famously attributed his throat cancer to HPV from oral sex)
- Any mucous membrane contact
Why People Skip Condoms (And Why They’re Wrong):
| Excuse | The Reality | Better Approach |
| “It doesn’t feel as good” | Safety increases relaxation, which increases pleasure | Make application part of foreplay |
| “It kills the flow” | Practice makes seamless; try female/internal condoms | Put it on together as intimate act |
| “We’re exclusive” | STIs can be dormant; testing matters first | Get tested together, then decide |
| “I’m allergic to latex” | Latex-free condoms exist widely | Explore polyurethane or polyisoprene options |
Emergency Contraception: Your Safety Net
The 72-Hour Window: If unprotected sex happens, emergency contraceptive pills can prevent ovulation within 72 hours. Think of it as “walling up Anarkali before she can meet Salim”—stopping the egg release before fertilization can occur.
Abortion Facts in India:
- Legal up to 20 weeks with doctor consultation
- Only your consent required (no husband, boyfriend, or parent permission needed for adults)
- Two types: Medical (pills, like heavy period) and Surgical (procedure with anesthesia)
- Always under medical supervision—ectopic pregnancies (outside uterus) can be fatal if untreated
No Fap November: The Misunderstood Movement
The Origin: The “No Fap” movement originally targeted porn consumption, not masturbation itself. The founders were against addictive porn habits, not self-pleasure.
The Misinterpretation: Over years, it morphed into “no masturbation, no sex, no ejaculation”—sometimes linked to pseudoscientific ideas about “conserving Chi energy” or preventing protein loss.
The Science:
- Semen contains minimal protein (2-5 ml volume—about a teaspoon)
- No vital minerals are lost
- No evidence of dopamine reward system damage from healthy masturbation
Healthy vs. Compulsive:
- Healthy: Personal choice, doesn’t interfere with life
- Compulsive: Missing school/work, avoiding friends, preferring porn to real connection
For Example:
As one expert noted: “How many times can you dance in a day? You’ll stop when tired.” Masturbation is similar—your body naturally regulates it. Night fall (nocturnal emissions) will occur if you don’t ejaculate otherwise. This is normal, not failure.
Five Surprising Penis Facts Every Person Should Know
Dr. Narendra shares essential anatomy education:
- Baby erections happen in utero — Male fetuses can have erections during ultrasound. It’s normal sexual development, not sexual thoughts.
- Penises point in different directions — Up, down, sideways. All normal variation.
- Penile fractures are real — Despite no bone, aggressive bending during sex or masturbation can rupture blood-filled tissue, requiring immediate surgery.
- Phimosis and paraphimosis — Tight foreskin that won’t retract (phimosis) or won’t return after retraction (paraphimosis) are common but fixable. Don’t force it!
- Size surgery is risky — Penile extension surgery might add 1-1.5 inches but can cause dysfunction. The average is 5.1-5.5 inches erect globally.
The BDSM Question: Why Pain and Pleasure Mix
When asked about the rising popularity of BDSM and “pleasure-pain” culture, Dr. Narendra offers insight:
The Logic: In BDSM, submissives actually hold control—they set boundaries, use safe words, and can stop anytime. This controlled environment allows safe exploration of intense sensations with adrenaline release.
The Novelty Factor: Humans crave newness. Just as runners progress from 5K to marathons, or drivers seek faster speeds, sexual exploration often follows similar patterns of seeking new thresholds.
The Critical Warning: Without education, this exploration becomes dangerous. Dr. Narendra treated a patient who inserted a light bulb for pleasure. When it broke, the challenge wasn’t just removal—it was removal without causing damage.
For Example: The sex toy industry now designs with safety features like “flared bases” specifically because the anus can “suck up” objects unlike the vagina. This innovation came from medical necessity—people showing up in ERs with lodged objects.
How to Actually Fix India’s Sexual Health Crisis
Start With Body Literacy, Not Sex Education
Dr. Narendra prefers the term “body literacy” over “sex education.” Why? Because understanding your anatomy prevents:
- Seven years of belly-button penetration
- Shame about normal variations
- Exploitation by scam products
- Preventable infertility from untreated STIs
For Men Specifically:
- Quit smoking (90-day fertility reset)
- Laptops off laps
- Skip gym steroids
- Talk to someone—silence kills mental health
- Release the orgasm pressure—intimacy ≠ performance
For Everyone:
- Use protection consistently (condoms, dental dams for oral)
- Get tested regularly for STIs
- Verify information—porn is fiction, not education
- Support partners through health journeys without judgment
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can oral sex cause cancer?
A: Yes—unprotected oral sex can transmit HPV, leading to throat/mouth cancer (oropharyngeal cancer). Use dental dams or condoms, or ensure both partners are tested.
Q: Is abortion legal in India?
A: Yes, completely legal up to 20 weeks with a doctor’s consultation. Only your consent is required if you’re an adult. No family member permission needed.
Q: Do vaginal washes make you “cleaner”?
A: No—they disrupt natural pH and cause infections. The vagina is self-cleaning. External washing with plain water is sufficient.
Q: Can you increase penis size with creams or pills?
A: No. These are scams. Surgery exists but has significant risks and minimal gains. Average size is 5.1-5.5 inches erect.
Q: Why can’t my partner orgasm during sex?
A: Over 80% of women need clitoral stimulation, not just penetration. This is normal anatomy, not dysfunction. Explore external stimulation together.
Conclusion: Shame Dies When Science Speaks
India’s sexual health crisis isn’t about morality—it’s about missing information. From the couple who tried to conceive through the belly button to the men destroying their fertility with laptops and steroids, the pattern is clear: what we don’t know is hurting us deeply.
Dr. Narendra’s work proves that when accurate information replaces shame, lives change. Fertility becomes preventable. Pleasure becomes possible. Relationships become healthier.
The question isn’t whether we can afford to talk openly about sexual health. It’s whether we can afford not to.
What’s one myth you believed until today? Share this with someone who needs to hear it—because one conversation really can change a life.
Source & Credit
This blog post is based on insights from Dr. Tanaya Narendra (Dr. Cuterus)‘s YouTube interview with Raj Shamani on the Raj Shamani Clips channel.
The original content has been translated, expanded, and repurposed for educational purposes.
Dr. Tanaya Narendra is an Oxford-trained sexual health expert and content creator dedicated to body literacy and sexual wellness education in India. Follow her work @DrCuterus across platforms.
